Wisconsin!

I'm not even going to try to express my love. http://www.bratfest.com/

A look back...

Curious about what I've been eating? Me too. Let's look back...

April 10- marzipan croissant; cheeseburger with avocado; mozzarella sticks; homemade zucchini, onion, olive oil, and squash flat bread pizza and gorgonzola cheese and onion flat bread pizza; macaroni and cheese

April 11- strawberry orange french toast; homemade prosciutto and arugula pizza; beer

April 12- homemade bread with brie, raw honey, strawberries and blackberries; thinly sliced steak and butter sandwiches on homemade bread; asparagus with glazed pecans; wine; homemade bread with brie, raw honey, strawberries and blackberries (yes, again)

April 13- raisin bran with almond milk; homemade bread with raspberry jam; vegan chocolate raspberry cake; homemade bread with sliced cheese infused bratwurst and havarti cheese; grapes

April 14- raisin bran with almond milk; coconut and peach scone; double chocolate cookie; bread with butter; pizza with italian sausage, beer

April 15- raisin bran with almond milk; raspberry scone; curry with quinoa and cucumber sauce (cooking class); date and nut balls (cooking class); chocolate croissant; miso soup; orange; grapes

Ok, so that's a lot of pizza. But also I ate GOOD this week. That bread was maybe the best thing that ever happened to me. Also, I guess I really like raisin bran with almond milk. I should also say that I have felt wonderful this week- energetic, cheery, and even creative.

Brain vs. Beast

Please don't feel bad for my stomach. When I call her a beast, I promise you she likes it. In fact, she couldn't be happier since she has complete control of my life. She just loves to drive my brain crazy, especially when I try to overthink food. So, if I spend a few hours learning about the benefits of flavonoids, found in, you know, fruits and vegetables, SHE will probably want pizza. But today, I thought I had her. We learned about fats this morning. If there is one thing my stomach always wants its fats. And I'm cool with that. It turns out, my brain also loves fat (it's filling, it's delicious, and gosh darn it people like it). SO, imagine my surprise when I get done with work and my stomach wants fruit. Without cheese. And miso soup.

The one time I think I know what's coming BAM she goes and wants soup. SOUP! And fruit. For reals? Are you kidding me?? I'm over this. OVER THIS. Do you know what I would have done for fruit a few days ago? The peace of mind I could have had devouring my flavanoids and vitamins and minerals?? Well obviously she just doesn't care. I think that's pretty clear. And you know what? Maybe I don't care either... Except how could I not care?? I'm the one doing all the freaking work. I'm the one thinking my way through class ALL DAY. So whatever. WHATever. Fine. Have your soup.

Miso Soup.
From the recipe on my miso container, because, if you haven't already gotten it, whatever. However much mushrooms, onions, and garlic your little heart desires sauteed in oil (that's right, fat), probably toasted sesame oil. When they are soft, add stock until you have as much soup as you want. Add peanut butter (oh, do we only have chunky peanut butter, that's too bad)(also, more fat, so suck it). Simmer for a few minutes. Add a couple of spoonfuls of miso. Simmer for a while longer, I don't know, five more minutes? Add some kale (or whatever) and simmer until the kale is soft, maybe five more minutes. In the meantime I made some soba noodles because both she and I hate rice. Then I mixed them together. Also... it was actually good. And a nice spring meal. And the peanut butter was delicious. WHATEVER.

Completely giving into your stomach can be scary, and sometimes surprising. But I have to say, she usually knows best.

Bread

One thing my stomach always wants is bread. Not sandwich bread, or white bread, or even 100% whole wheat bread. What it really wants is bakery bread. Delicious, crusty on the outside soft on the inside bakery bread. The possibilities are endless: meatball sandwiches, eggplant sandwiches, with butter next to anything, to dip in soup, to put tapenade on, with peanut butter, with jam and goat cheese, just with jam, just with cheese, to soak anything left over on my plate, with spinach artichoke dip, BLT sandwiches, as French toast, and, eventually, to use as breadcrumbs.

This recipe has been haunting me for two years, first via the NY Times itself, then via emails, then via my intention to make it, then a few more emails, and most recently, just last week, a friend told me she did it. So, finally, 884 days after I first saw and was intrigued by this recipe, I went for it. And, for the first 20 hours, I totally rocked this recipe. But, sadly, I missed one key bit of information. A 6-8 quart pan, as it turns out, is fucking huge.

Since I'm dominating the crap out of this recipe, I might as well call my mom to wish her a Happy Easter and rub how awesome my bread is turning out in her face (it should be pointed out that my mom is the nicest lady in ever, and never needs things rubbed in her face). Wow, now she knows just how great I am. Oh! It's time to load my bread dough into a preheated pot. Let me just get this out of the oven and totally ignore the sirens coming from my stupid smoke detector since it is so f-ing sensitive and lift up the towel and HOLY CRAP. The dough has risen. Just like Jesus it has risen and I'm fucked. Because now it is about 5 times too big for any pot I have, let alone the one I preheated as per instructions. I check the recipe and it calls for a 6-8 quart pot. Who uses quarts?? Mine is only 2 quarts!! And it's the biggest pot I have!! What to do? What to do? Crap. I have to call my mom back. And apparently no, a stock pot is not an appropriate way to bake bread. And I loaned my car to Joe, that little mooch. Now I have to WALK in the rain to QFC to buy a new pot while my bread continues to rise. Why didn't I learn anything from Amelia Bedelia? Of course, the store takes forever and it's Easter and it smells like gross fake chocolate and I can't believe how many people I told that I was going to make this bread and now it's a huge failure. And of course, the store doesn't have the size pot I need so I'll just split the dough. Into three loaves, yes, three adorable little loaves. It'll be perfect. But how long should I cook it for? 1/3 of the time?? That's not enough. OK, I'll just stand by the oven the whole time. No big deal. Oh, OK, this is actually no big deal. Oh, it turned out totally fine. I guess I did totally rock this recipe after all. Suck it!

So, here is what my stomach wanted for breakfast today:


Curious? It's bread, brie, raw honey, strawberries and blackberries. Other things my stomach wanted today: asparagus and steak. (It always wants meat...)

Welcome to Bratwurst and Kale

Here's the deal...

In 2006 I graduated from college and left Wisconsin, where beer roams free and brats and cheese mate for life. Three years later here I am, attending Bastyr, a school specializing in natural medicine, to get another degree, this time in nutrition. Now, I find myself a bit stuck. Where does my love of cheese infused meats fit into my awareness of the health benefits of kale? Will delicious beer triumph over beets and kefir?

Some things you should know about my school: I should start out by saying, I love Bastyr. It is a great school, I learn TONS, and people there are truly committed to health equality and social justice. Programs include naturopathic medicine, acupuncture and traditional chinese medicine. When you go to a school like this, personal health and self care are at the center of everything you do. Needless to say, these people eat like total freaks. (I mean, can a girl get a cheesy brat?)

At first, I thought I might be converted:

Maybe I should be eating wheat grass smoothies with arugula and broccolini and maybe some peanut butter and I guess I should throw in some almond butter and maybe some hemp seeds, just to be safe. Or maybe I should do a cleanse, yeah, a cleanse. I won't eat anything but cayenne pepper for a week... no, a day. OK, just a couple of hours. Then I'll eat only raw food for a month. Or less. Can a fast last six hours and still be effective? OK, no more beer. For reals, beer is the worst. And meat? Meat shmeat. Oh, did I say I wasn't eating meat? I must have forgotten about that when I ate that hamburger. Whole grains! That's where it's at. Delicious brown rice. Sure, it's tough and chewy and has a weird flavor. And it takes fucking an hour to cook. But, no matter, health is my number one concern. What? I'm still hungry? Well, let me just binge on this box of *all natural* cheese crackers. Oh, and nothing goes better with salty crackers than chocolate, yeah chocolate. 78% cocoa. Of course, this isn't sweet enough. I'll just add some honey- a totally natural sweetener. Oh crap, but what about the bees? Fuck, the bees! Shit shit shit!

That didn't last long. It's not that I'm not concerned about my own health. I am. And I do think that eating healthy is a great way to take control of your health. But, I also think food should be enjoyable. And I don't think that guilt should have anything to do with the food choices we make.

So, for about four months now I have been letting my stomach make my food decisions, trusting that over time my body will learn to tell me what it needs, and that a truly healthy way of life does not include deprivation from cheese plates or brownies. Understanding that maybe a little bit of trans fat is actually better for me than blocking a food craving in the first place. There are a few limitations. Money matters. So, if I'm really craving Mexican food and someone offers me a free baked potato (seriously, this just happened) I'm going for the baked potato. Similarly, I don't have to go too far out of my way just because I'm craving something. So if I,m at home and all I have is peanut butter and a piece of naan, I may very well eat it, even if the naan is curry flavored (not good, if you were wondering).

But, for the most part, I listen to my gut. I've gone through some weird phases: bread and cheese for dinner every day for two weeks: salads (I have never liked salads before, or since, that one week in December); milk in massive quantities, with or without Life cereal; guacamole, guacamole, guacamole; butter on everything, peanut butter on everything; homemade Gorgonzola cheese and onion pizzas; Indian food (on a side note: never, ever buy Indian food from Trader Joe's- ever); salami, cheese and crackers; pasta with Alfredo sauce and toasted bread to dip in the Alfredo sauce; and, most recently, a return to my "native" food: brats.

Please, join me as I allow my stomach complete control of my life.