In 2006 I graduated from college and left Wisconsin, where beer roams free and brats and cheese mate for life. Three years later here I am, attending Bastyr, a school specializing in natural medicine, to get another degree, this time in nutrition. Now, I find myself a bit stuck. Where does my love of cheese infused meats fit into my awareness of the health benefits of kale? Will delicious beer triumph over beets and kefir?
Some things you should know about my school: I should start out by saying, I love Bastyr. It is a great school, I learn TONS, and people there are truly committed to health equality and social justice. Programs include naturopathic medicine, acupuncture and traditional chinese medicine. When you go to a school like this, personal health and self care are at the center of everything you do. Needless to say, these people eat like total freaks. (I mean, can a girl get a cheesy brat?)
At first, I thought I might be converted:
Maybe I should be eating wheat grass smoothies with arugula and broccolini and maybe some peanut butter and I guess I should throw in some almond butter and maybe some hemp seeds, just to be safe. Or maybe I should do a cleanse, yeah, a cleanse. I won't eat anything but cayenne pepper for a week... no, a day. OK, just a couple of hours. Then I'll eat only raw food for a month. Or less. Can a fast last six hours and still be effective? OK, no more beer. For reals, beer is the worst. And meat? Meat shmeat. Oh, did I say I wasn't eating meat? I must have forgotten about that when I ate that hamburger. Whole grains! That's where it's at. Delicious brown rice. Sure, it's tough and chewy and has a weird flavor. And it takes fucking an hour to cook. But, no matter, health is my number one concern. What? I'm still hungry? Well, let me just binge on this box of *all natural* cheese crackers. Oh, and nothing goes better with salty crackers than chocolate, yeah chocolate. 78% cocoa. Of course, this isn't sweet enough. I'll just add some honey- a totally natural sweetener. Oh crap, but what about the bees? Fuck, the bees! Shit shit shit!
That didn't last long. It's not that I'm not concerned about my own health. I am. And I do think that eating healthy is a great way to take control of your health. But, I also think food should be enjoyable. And I don't think that guilt should have anything to do with the food choices we make.
So, for about four months now I have been letting my stomach make my food decisions, trusting that over time my body will learn to tell me what it needs, and that a truly healthy way of life does not include deprivation from cheese plates or brownies. Understanding that maybe a little bit of trans fat is actually better for me than blocking a food craving in the first place. There are a few limitations. Money matters. So, if I'm really craving Mexican food and someone offers me a free baked potato (seriously, this just happened) I'm going for the baked potato. Similarly, I don't have to go too far out of my way just because I'm craving something. So if I,m at home and all I have is peanut butter and a piece of naan, I may very well eat it, even if the naan is curry flavored (not good, if you were wondering).
But, for the most part, I listen to my gut. I've gone through some weird phases: bread and cheese for dinner every day for two weeks: salads (I have never liked salads before, or since, that one week in December); milk in massive quantities, with or without Life cereal; guacamole, guacamole, guacamole; butter on everything, peanut butter on everything; homemade Gorgonzola cheese and onion pizzas; Indian food (on a side note: never, ever buy Indian food from Trader Joe's- ever); salami, cheese and crackers; pasta with Alfredo sauce and toasted bread to dip in the Alfredo sauce; and, most recently, a return to my "native" food: brats.
Please, join me as I allow my stomach complete control of my life.
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