Moving

I'm moving. Not far, but you know, you don't need to move far to have to pack up all of your things and clean out your cupboards. And cleaning out my cupboards is where I came across a realization. I have erratic eating tendencies. I will get SO EXCITED about something, something food related, and then be OVER IT. Immediately. Also, sometimes I make bad choices. So, in the graveyard that is my cupboard, a review of what I found:

-not one, not two, not three, but four half eaten Milton's crackers boxes
-two nearly full boxes of whole wheat pasta boxes (GROSS)
-seven tiny bags of grains (arborio rice, brown rice, buckwheat, toasted buckwheat, couscous, quinoa, and 10 grain cereal) (I try to hard)
-sesame seeds (seemingly normal, but I bought them when we moved in to our place a year ago, and they are still unopened... and I packed them to bring to our next place- hey, you never know)
-three bottles of rancid oil (one vegetable, one oil, one sesame)
-two dried packets of macaroni and cheese cheese- leftover from homemade macaroni and cheese night, for super macaroni and cheese, someday in the future
-cardamom- a seasoning we bought for reasons I can't remember
-Molly McButter- It's not mine, I swear! I brought it home as a joke for Joe, who actually loves it
-two two gallon ziplock baggies of beer bottle caps for a craft project to be determined in the distant future
-three free cat food samples, thanks Kelly!
-powdered miso soup packets, from before I discovered the real stuff
-a bag of the best tortilla chips ever- so good, in fact, that I didn't want to waste eating them without guacamole. Guacamole that I never made.
-two nearly empty bags of parmesan goldfish crackers. Why, oh why, didn't I eat the last seven crackers? Who saves seven goldfish crackers?
-two containers of baking soda AND two containers of baking powder

For tonight, a frozen pizza. Pre-sliced (an accident, actually, but great since I already packed all kitchen appliances).

It's hot

I'm not complaining. I'm not. It has beautiful and wonderful and warm for a week. It feels like summer and I never want it to stop. Ever. But when it is this hot I don't really feel like eating much. Yesterday at work I couldn't stop talking about how much I wanted to shower, and I was told I was talking about showers like I used to talk about cheese. That made me sad.


In fact, the only food craving of interest I have had this week has been cottage cheese. Which is weird because I always hated cottage cheese. But not very interesting.

So instead of telling you about the delicious nature of cottage cheese (the tiny curds of sweet cheese, the tangy... cottage?) I'm going to go outside and get some sun. Let's hope my stomach gets back on track...

Intestines

Intestines are a wonderful thing. I know they seem gross, and in war movies they are always popping out of people, and they make and hold poop, but regardless, intestines are a wonderful thing. Let's explore the delightful little coils.

There are two kinds of intestines: small and large. The small intestine is composed of three parts but, who cares? The small intestine takes all the crazy acidic broken down food from the stomach and breaks it down into tiny compounds that we can actually absorb. And use. Things like energy and vitamins and minerals. PRETTY IMPORTANT.

Of course, the large intestine plays a role too. The large intestine is, let me say, AWESOME. Not just for what it is, but also for what it holds. The large intestine is home to BILLIONS AND BILLIONS of bacteria. Not impressed? What if I told you those bacteria weighed MORE THAN TWO POUNDS!!! TWO POUNDS!!! And these bacteria do wild things. They digest food that the small intestine didn't. And not just that, they digest these waste products into THINGS WE CAN USE. And these things may protect against colon cancer. They also ward off the bad guys- they even secrete anti bacterial compounds that target "bad bacteria." Now that is just NUTS.

Then, when the intestines are done, poop is made. I love poop because it is funny and it also makes you think. Today I learned that the majority of poop is water and dead bacteria. WHAT??? That's wacky. And sweet.

Ok, it seems unlikely that you are still reading. But if you are, you probably understand why intestines are oh so great. And you probably also understand why I'm curious what my intestines want me to eat. I've been trying to tune in down there and find out what's going on. So far, no luck, so I think I'll just guess.

My intestines dream day:

Breakfast:
Yogurt (with millions of new bacteria friends)
Granola (to move my food through me at an optimal speed)
Lunch:
Chili with lots of beans (fiber, fiber, fiber. gives my intestines a good scrubin and makes sure everything is moving- but not too fast)
Salad (I really think that my intestines wish my stomach wanted more salads, just like may brain does)
Snack:
Aged cheese plate (more bacteria friends, plus I think my intestines probably like cheese as much as the rest of me) (and because I think my intestines really like to snack)
Dinner:
Roasted veggies including sunchokes (fiber, plus inulin which is food specifically for my bacterial friends)
Berries and more berries (we all like berries. All of me and and my bacteria friends)

Well, I hope you enjoyed this journey into my feelings on intestines and what life would be like if my intestines ruled the world. Or at least my plate.

I would also like to say that I'm sure some of you are thinking, "hey it's funny that Christie love's intestines so much, because her favorite foods are traditionally made from intestines, which is gross." I really don't have anything to say to that. As much as I love intestines, I do have a hard time wanting to eat them. But instead of dwelling on it, I have chosen to recognize the discrepancy, and move on.

voodoo magic

Today I practiced voodoo magic. Ok, not really. But when you go to a weird hippie school that practices some strange homeopathic remedies, people assume everything you do is voodoo. When really, only some of the things I do are voodoo, and not the ones you'd expect. Moving on...

This morning Joe was coughing and I thought, "this is it! my excuse!" For what you ask? To use the mystery powers of garlic to prevent sickness. Yes garlic! Last week on Tuesday we learned all about the mystical nature of garlic and how if you are getting sick, you have nothing to lose from eating a few cloves of garlic. The enchanted little globes let loose a barrage of newts eyes and salamander tails and they fight and fight and fight all of the evil beings in your body and you get well. Or something. Whatever it is, garlic something awesome. It is antibiotic, antioxidant, and anti-inflammatory. And hopefully, it will save me from the mild cough Joe had this morning.

My favorite part of this potion (garlic) is that to prepare it you use... THE MICROWAVE. So, to prepare this nectar of the gods simply peel the garlic, stab it with a fork and nuke it for 20 seconds. Then eat. I spread it on toasted homemade bread with a bit of butter. Just like the witches of yesteryear.

DATES?!?!

Despite a good 4 minute web search I can't find anything about date toxicity. Regardless, I hate dates. I'm sick of date bars, date balls, dates in bread, dates in scones, dates in breakfast cereal, you name it, I'm over it. Dates are the worst. EVER!

Dates are gross. They look gross, they smell gross, they taste gross.

Dates are a pain. They have a pit. A PIT!! Girl, please.

Dates are not sugar. Sugar is sugar. Honey is sugar. Dates are not sugar. You here that Bastyr? DATES ARE NOT SUGAR!

Dates are chewy. Not good chewy, like chewy granola bars. Bad chewy, like "what is this in the middle of my muffin?" chewy.

Dates have no vitamin C. Can you believe it?

I think my point is obvious. Eating dates is lame.

Here are some other uses of dates:

Date seeds can be used for animal feed (but do we really want to do that to animals?- this is questionable)

Date oil can be used for cosmetics (Date Face!)

Date branches can be made into brooms. Brooms!

Date leaves can be made into hats. Hats!

So I think it is clear that we should abandon eating dates. Instead, I'd really love to see more date hats.

(On a side note, my friend Kristie told me about dates stuffed with blue cheese and wrapped in bacon. This does sound delicious. But I would eat a chair stuffed with blue cheese and wrapped in bacon. Point made.)

Stress

I like to think of myself as a sort of even keeled person. Sometimes I get fake worked up to blow off steam, but usually I'm happy or at the very least indifferent. But, every once in a while everything hits at once and that is when the stress sets in. So, as I navigate finding a new apartment with midterms and a new job I have felt the pressure slowly move in. Into my gut. We know that the brain and the gut are connected, that they share signaling molecules and that they influence one another. And when stress hits I have no choice but to listen to my stomach.

My stomach of course knew I was stressed this week before I did. Slowly, an overwhelming sense of nausea set in. I wasn't really hungry, but I wasn't really full. I just felt icky. Yeah, that's right, icky. And so, all last week, I just ate, well bland crap. Certainly not worth discussing. And that is that.

Or is it? When I'm nauseas, a wonderful category of food presents itself to me. Wet food. Not, dog food soup, which is a weird phenomenon I'm just not hip enough to embrace. Smoothies, applesauce, yogurt, I love it all. But what I really wanted was milk!! MILK!! I love delicious milk. I am, after all, from Wisconsin. And I do love milky milk milk. Yeah, I sweet talk milk- so what?

Unfortunately, milk and I are not on the best of terms. When I was in high school and college (yes, in Wisconsin) I was nonstop sick. With some crazy cough. Ok, it wasn't that big of a deal, but I did whoop it up so much as to get not one, not two, but three anti smoking chats from coaches along the way. And I was diagnosed with milk asthma. Yes, MILD ASTHMA. Can you believe it?

And, when I moved to Oregon, it went away. At this time I was living with some people who turned out to be near VEGANS (eek!) who told me they would prefer it if I not keep milk in the fridge. So, milk made its way out of my life. But about a year ago, I moved up to Seattle and had a lot of alone time. Which always leads to interesting food jags. This time, it was cereal. With milk. Well, what do you know if my cold didn't come back. Of course, it took me about 6 more months (at nutrition school) to come to make the connection. And I switched to almond milk (almost as good).

But, every once in a while, during stressful periods in my life, I go back to milk and my mild asthma symptoms. Call me nostalgic.

Darn

It's not always easy to eat guilt free. I believe that my stomach makes choices that are good for me. For the most part, it steers me away from foods that make me sick and towards things that make me feel good. Since starting this "diet" (maybe way of life is more appropriate) I feel better than I have in the past and I have actually lost a little weight. I tend to eat a more balanced, albeit random, array of foods when I let my decisions be made without guilt. When I don't avoid a food I really want and then over do it with other foods as a reward. Plus, I get to eat what I want. I don't deprive myself and I eat really good food most of the time.

Well, despite all of this it really is NOT EASY to eat guilt free all of the time. Especially when you go to nutrition school. I mean, on Thursday we spent an entire class pinching each others fat.

Really? Do we need to do this? Really? My classmate/friend has to stick her finger into my belly button, reach over and pinch as much fat as her hand can handle. Really? You want me to hold a measuring tape to my nipple, then you reach towards my armpit and squeeze? For reals?! How is it that the thigh measurement, seemingly the most awkward is actually the least? Of seven measurements! And you think I'm going to show up to class in my sports bra and shorts? Come on!

You think this is accurate? You think that you can pinch my love handles and tell how much total body fat I have? You think your skinfold pinchers know more than I know about myself? Let's just say it like it is- fatfold pinchers. And why should I even care how much body fat I have? What if I just feel great for the first time in a long time?! Doesn't that count? DOESN'T IT??

Ok, reading this, it does sound awkward, but not really worth getting all up in arms about. I mean, I know that I may have to do this clients in the future, and so will my classmates. It was good practice. But at the same time it brought out in me my unhealthy relationship with food and my body. Even as our teacher was telling us that we get obsessed with numbers and that they are just an estimate I found myself getting obsessed with the numbers.

I recounted what I ate that morning, and why. I asked myself if I really needed that chocolate ice cream. I compared my body to the other bodies in my class and came up short. And wide. My friend and I jokingly (maybe) called the experience eating disorderific. As I spiraled back from whence I came I knew in my head that I am right. That I am making the right decisions for me. I know that I am not fat, that I am at a healthy weight for me and that I feel good about it. That I feel healthy and happy most of the time. And that eating without judgments of good and bad is working.

But I was shaken by this experience. I guess the good news is that fat grabbing parties are pretty rare and generally easy to avoid. And that the experience actually didn't change how I eat. And the following day, when I bit into a giant salami and gorgonzola cheese sandwich I knew that I was right. Even if fat accumulates in the space one to two centimeters below the inferior angle of my scapula.

Another look back...

April 27- french toast with strawberry rhubarb sauce, macaroni and cheese, zucchini and onion, apple, peanut butter, homemade bread with eggplant and zucchini

April 28- yogurt, hard boiled egg, banana, chocolate chip cookie, pizza, beer

April 29- hoppin' john, polenta, bananas, kiwis, strawberries, cashew cream, kale, wint-o-green lifesavers, chicken sausage pasta disaster (see below), chocolate peanut butter ice cream

April 30- yogurt, sesame seed bagel with butter, chocolate chip bagel, margaritas, cheese quesidilla

May 1- banana, yogurt, salumi sandwich (salami, gorgonzola, tapenade, onions), beer, pizza

May 2- macaroni and cheese, homemade pizza with salumi salami

May 3- homemade pizza with salumi salami, miso soup, baguette with homemade tapenade

Ok, I bought kale. That's right kale. Like the name of the blog. I'm sending messages to my stomach to eat MORE VEGETABLES. Really? What kind of a nutrition student's stomach are you?