Despite a good 4 minute web search I can't find anything about date toxicity. Regardless, I hate dates. I'm sick of date bars, date balls, dates in bread, dates in scones, dates in breakfast cereal, you name it, I'm over it. Dates are the worst. EVER!
Dates are gross. They look gross, they smell gross, they taste gross.
Dates are a pain. They have a pit. A PIT!! Girl, please.
Dates are not sugar. Sugar is sugar. Honey is sugar. Dates are not sugar. You here that Bastyr? DATES ARE NOT SUGAR!
Dates are chewy. Not good chewy, like chewy granola bars. Bad chewy, like "what is this in the middle of my muffin?" chewy.
Dates have no vitamin C. Can you believe it?
I think my point is obvious. Eating dates is lame.
Here are some other uses of dates:
Date seeds can be used for animal feed (but do we really want to do that to animals?- this is questionable)
Date oil can be used for cosmetics (Date Face!)
Date branches can be made into brooms. Brooms!
Date leaves can be made into hats. Hats!
So I think it is clear that we should abandon eating dates. Instead, I'd really love to see more date hats.
(On a side note, my friend Kristie told me about dates stuffed with blue cheese and wrapped in bacon. This does sound delicious. But I would eat a chair stuffed with blue cheese and wrapped in bacon. Point made.)
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